I remember early in practice wanting change so badly. Buddhism was to be my refuge and surely magical things would follow. It was a rude awakening, and letting go of a headful of ignorance was no small undertaking. Oh, the patience and understanding of my teachers. Not to mention my stubbornness used for positive change for once. I knew there was something there, I knew I had to find change and I knew I would not give up. Thirty years later and here I am. There was no magical occurrence yet there was something unexpected, that is for another time. So for all those students out there who “know” there is something to this Zen thing, you’re right. Use that faith and do not waiver in this endeavor. Keep at it, and even if your practice is off and on, find a teacher you can relate to and a group you feel comfortable with. Big or small temple, known or unknown teacher, these matter little. Is the teacher filled with joy, and is the sangha supportive of each other? Trust yourself, you will find the way.
